One take on word count

                                           The story must be ready.

A story must be written for competition night you know
 I’ve got nothing ready yet but still I’ll have to go.
 The rules are written clearly for one and all to see
Twelve hundred crafty words will win you that Grand Prix.





 There are things that must be mentioned if you’re to win the pot,
 three items drawn at random to be included in your plot.
 You cannot leave one out when your story goes on show:
 mine is going slowly now , eleven hundred words to go.


The problem that I’m having is with the plot I find.
My friends are always saying that I have a quirky mind,
 But it has been missing now for nigh upon a week
And it will not yield to me the clever plot I seek.

There’s a pesky little gremlin has shut it down I fear
 So my chance in competition has gone another year.
I’ll be restricted just to hearing what the others have to read
 and cursing that my juices have produced this puny weed.

 I’m counting words right sharply as they come into my sight,
slowly getting down to zero so I’ll have the count just right.
 It’s really not going all that well and the words are coming slow
 I must unhappily report there’s a thousand words to go.

 I have one item mentioned and it’s a simple one to guess
 But no other words are coming to help to me to impress.
If I cannot get the other two to fit easily within
I think I may be forced to commit some awful sin.

 This writing lark’s got difficult it’s not simple any more
 I always found that perfect words just flowed within before.
 I’ve no idea what has happened to get me in this jam
But those words are hiding now behind a great big dam.

 I must report that, though the words are coming now,
 they’re scratching out a brand new furrow on my brow.
 I’m slowly getting there with those hard won words
But I’m thinking now this poem is mostly for the birds.

 The words are settling down and while the page is filling
 I must keep on writing now to show that I am willing
. The plot in fact I’ll have you know is non-existent in this tale
 And on the night of course I’m pretty certain it’ll fail.

 At this rate I’ll be writing till the words come out my ear
 and maybe I’ll have the story written in another year.
 But the word count is improving and the toolbar’s up on show
 It’s saying that there’s less than eight hundred now to go.

 The word count’s creeping downwards but the plot is still no good
The items to be mentioned are not appearing as they should.
 I’m told that a good writer has some stories in the bank
 That’s not the case with me at all if I am very frank.

 I struggle to come up with plots though words are not my trouble
 But my time is running out and my plot’s a piece of rubble.
 I’ll come up with some solution that I’m sure will work a treat.
 If nothing else occurs to me then maybe I can cheat.

 But cheating’s not allowed you see and besides it isn’t fair
 So if I must resort to that I’ll be shouted off my chair.
 Come write a story any story, invent yourself a hero.
Alas what’s coming up is a big fat juicy zero.
I guess I could entice my friend, the ever-helpful Bill,
 to get for me a real good shot or photo from his hill.
 His camera work is very good and is shown in all the papers
 But will it help me out in any way with my odd writing capers?

 I can’t be sure but it’s worth a try so I’ll be phoning him tomorrow.
 Maybe he’s already got some photos I can borrow.
 At least that will produce some words to take the counting down
 And wipe entirely off my face this nasty ugly frown.

 I’m getting there, I’m getting there, the word count’s looking good
 so far I have just mentioned only two things that I should
 but the third one will be easy and I’ve lots of time you know
 I’ve written lots of nothing and I’ve five hundred words to go.

 I’m feeling very chipper now that I’m on the homeward slope
 with the words appearing easier now or so I dare to hope.
 A tiny little problem left and still to make some sense
 is how to fit the last thing in and yet keep the story tense.

 I’m working so much harder now ‘cos time is getting short
 and I’m getting so much closer to that dreaded last resort.
By now I’m fairly certain I’ll have something yet to show
 The word count’s getting better, just four hundred now to go.

 The time is coming nearer now to mention that last thing
 But it might in fact be better just to have a final fling
And leave it towards the ending for when the timing’s getting tight.
 That’s what I’ll do or at least it’s what I’m thinking that I might.

 Now is it that I hear you say I do not have a story?
 All I wanted was to have a shot at reaching out for glory.
 I’ve written down nine hundred words and still I am undaunted
 but yet I fear it may be true that my mind has just been haunted.

 How else can you explain the way this poem has always rambled?
 My normal way is tell it quick and not let it get scrambled.
 My guardian angel fell asleep and let me loose unhindered
 Just look now at the flood of words that sleeping has engendered.

 It’s coming to an end right soon and you surely will be pleased
The plot is non-existent but you must admit it teased.
 A thousand words have just gone by, two hundred more to go.
 I better tell the third thing soon before it’s too late to show.

 I must take out insurance for this story to progress
 if only to relieve myself of all this flipping stress.
I’m thinking now I’ll have to go and ask that lady broker
 if she’ll appear and stop my story ending up a choker.

 The story’s almost over and I’ve got it nearly done.
 How it reads to you I’m hoping is as a bit of fun.
 I am fairly certain that you’ll all be pleased to know
 right now there’s just about a hundred words to go.

 It’s been a ragged journey but we are nearly there
 And I have to say I’m thinking that you will all be fair
And admit that I have indeed now mentioned all the three
 of the competition items that were given out to me.

 A harder bit of writing I have never done
 and I wouldn’t try again even threatened by a gun.
 But I have almost filled the word count, as my toolbar will now show
 I am completely finished and there’s no more words to go.

 ©John Monaghan. 1200 words (including title).